Pancakes for Dinner
Motherhood is one of the best seasons of life and one of the longest. Your babies grow up no matter how much you might not want them to. Those long days and short years pass by and you’re left with memories made, regrets felt, and hope for grandchildren. And a lot of grey hair. But, through all the ups and downs of parenting, one thing can remain a constant source of comfort and guidance - God’s word.
Don’t underestimate the power that fuels your parenting when you read your Bible. The Bible isn’t some old, dusty book with nothing to do with your current modern-day life. The Bible is overflowing with stories of family drama and strife. Read it, and you’ll think your problems aren’t that bad after all. My family has issues but I’ve not been imprisoned or left for dead. I’m not minimizing the pain that goes hand-in-hand with raising children into adulthood and beyond. There’s a lot of pain, blood, sweat, and tears, and that’s just you! But, reading about family problems from jealousy to murder in the Bible can help you understand there is nothing God cannot comprehend about parenting your kids.
Motherhood is such a blessing and privilege and not one to take lightly. Undertaking this ministry from God Himself is a special gift, yet a difficult assignment. Every day with your children will not be pleasant. You’ll have many days where you fail to impart anything to your child except their need to eat. Even that need might be fought with everything within your child and their lungs. Motherhood is demanding and sometimes so completely exhausting you’ll go to bed dreaming about tomorrow morning’s coffee. But God has granted you everything you need to parent and parent well, dear sweet Mama.
You have eyes to read your Bible to teach truth to your children.
You have a mouth to pray for and with your children.
You have arms to offer hugs and comfort whenever needed.
You have feet to lead the way so your children will follow.
But, it won’t always be perfect. Life isn’t so. You can pray, read God’s word, parent with a helpful partner, and still feel like you’re failing every day. That’s normal. Every mother has been there and some days the reality of the weight of mothering is too great to bear. You will make mistakes. You will be angry. You will offer pancakes for dinner. But, you’ve got this. God chose you to be the mother to your children and to nurture them. You have everything you need to be their best mom.
In a world that seems to have gone sideways, the truth remains. You have an incredible opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to your little ones every single day. Again, it will not be perfect, so drop any expectation of that high bar. You’ll never hit it. No matter how hard you try, all your efforts do not automatically mean your children will grow up and walk in the way you have taught them. They will make their own choices, however painful they might be to you. That’s a result of the broken, sinful world in which we live. But I do believe that God’s word never comes back void. And you will have done your best, which includes small mistakes and massive failures alike. Whatever seeds of Godly truth and love you plant in the hearts of your little ones will prayerfully grow and bear fruit.
Maybe child-rearing isn’t quite what you imagined it could be. Maybe your child is the source of much frustration and even pain. It happens. Motherhood is messy in more ways than one. But, have hope that all things will be made new one day. It might not happen on this earth but one day there will be no more tears. I look forward to that. Surround yourself with family and friends who will speak the truth in love to your kids. They will back you up in more ways than one and your children will benefit. So will you. Telling the truth and modeling it to someone is loving and unselfish. It’s the way God would have us live however uncomfortable at times. But the results, some eternal, are worth your temporary discomfort.
If you’re reading this and perhaps not a parent, hold back criticizing a parent in public. You don’t understand what led to the child’s tantrum, screaming, or hissy-fit but one thing is for certain, the mother dealing with it is completely embarrassed and trying her best to parent well in the middle of it all. I once had a stranger tell me to just go ahead and buy my child candy so they would shut their mouth and stop crying in the checkout line. I had to resist the urge to shut that person’s mouth with my fist.
If you find yourself past the child-rearing season of life, love on your grandchildren if you’ve been blessed in this way. And there are many, many children needing all that a stand-in grandparent can offer them. Love, attention, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on. What an amazing ministry! Be a supportive person to a young mother or volunteer to teach five-year-olds in Sunday School. You can say goodbye and head home to wash the glue and glitter from your hands and hair. Mothers need a break and need someone to pour the same truth and love into their kids that she’s been doing non-stop. Mothers also need friends. The constant back-and-forth of which Bluey episode must be played next, the screaming match that can erupt at nap time, and the very specific way dinner must be plated are all draining to a mom. Friends can help alleviate that stress.
Now, as a grandmother to two wonderful little ones, I am so blessed to love them. Pouring out love, encouragement, praise, and support, and telling them how much I and Jesus love them matters so much to me. I love finding bits of crackers and crayons scattered throughout the house after playtime ends. Parenting is hard and messy, but it can be one of the most rewarding and fulfilling relationships of your life. Being a mother and grandmother has filled my heart with so much love. Always easy? No. Always worth it? Yes. Loving these little ones will be a life well-lived.
Your friend,
